Pure Glory ... the desire for mastery

so i remembered there was a song i really liked and i couldn't remember what it was or how to spell the artist's name and i couldn't quite remember what the song sounded like, i just remember what it wasn't but i on Thursday a line came to mind and now i have "Pure Glory" my Christy Nockels again. This has been something i've been thinking about. What is my concept of his pure glory in my life. I don't like to generalize concepts because ultimately it has to be personal as well. I know that will be the key to master everything but it's still something i'm looking at. I was teaching my kids about freedom from sin today and it's something i can't be called an expert in. I think this is the wrong part of the cycle to talk about it, or maybe it's the right part. I mean the cycle of revelation and sanctification.

I guess i'll explain this theory: instead of thinking of Christian life as a up and down roller coaster of failing and suceeding it's a series of revalation moments where the darkness is revealed and sactification where darkness is removed. This is how i know that it's not my faith is not one that is tossed about but continually growing towards Christ. I'm not failing to be godly, i'm realizing that i never was in a certain aspect. Only with revelation will there be an opportunity for sanctification. Only those that know of the sin can remove it but only those that remove that which blinds them will see new things and clearly. Anyway, i want to see the pure glory of God so that i can reach the next level.

iunno, i feel like i've been on this level for too long. patience i guess. God's time is the best time.

light that reveals the monsters under the bed

So it's been interseting after meditation last night that i recieve the understanding today. I was mentioning the passage or the mark, "Holy to the LORD" was what i'd been meditating on on tuesday and i was trying to go deeper. the concepts of set apart, ownership, and majesty came to mind. For now we'll talk about the holiness aspect. So as i sat there trying to recieve a new insight and an unrevelling of the mystery that is the holiness of God i came to see that God is standard to which we measure how seperate we are to the world. He is the one light and the world is the dark and i rested up that for a while. How different God is from the world and how the things of the flesh are directly contrary to the world. That though i might seem the same and have things in common with the world i do not in the true reality of this universe. For me to be set apart as an identity i know that God has done this before the foundations of time were laid and that is comfort. To be set apart as a result of Christ on the cross is relief. To be set apart and live a life as such is response.

As my mind completed the meditation and i went to bed my inner being was still resting upon the words. As the next days conversations began i came to see more and more how fundimentally different I was from the world. I began to become greived by the fleshliness of humanity. I explained it like: it's not that i didn't know that the world was messed up before, but it's like knowing God is good. There is always more darkness in the world and more holiness of God to discover and each time i see the former i grieve, the latter i cry/repent.

I began to see the white collared monsters that crawl the earth and the indifference they have to their sin. They are slaves and i realized the longer i'm with them the more aware i will be of their darkness and my heart cries. There are people worse than me and they are more monsterous than i am and they don't know how horrible that is. It's weird be where i am and see what is see yet be at a bit of a loss for what to do. So now i'm praying for these monsters and planning out what the areas of confrontation will be. The beauty of being on the road is that people are usually trapped with me for longer periods of time. We'll see.

I was once given insight into "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted" and the interpretation of the greiving is based on the greiving and mourning for the world and how lost it is. They are comforted because they will see God and i know it. the light will reveal all things and it's good to be in the light and, though, sad to see darkness it's better than the alternative.

God is at work.

So it's been hard to write in as many places as I've been trying to write but here I am, back at my blog because i feel like it's home or something.

So I've been thinking about a lot of stuff but it's been hard for to write it all and I've kind of given up on writing everything and settled for as much as I can in a given day.

So the first thing my boss says to me today is, "Let me show you something" and we go into a meeting room. I'm actually already smiling because it's usually something fun but not official yet. He shows me that I'll be on the road doing final inspections for the balance of the year. Apparently the VPs got together and decided that this was the best allocation of resources. It's cool cuz now I get to travel consistently, though it's to the small places of Canada, but it doesn't really matter, i want learn and grow. It's cool because God and I had that talk about appreciating what i have been given and that would not be money but it was a growth opportunity. I had to come to terms with what it was i would have and what i wouldn't have and it's a whole new ball game. It's good not to fight God on things and i mean that in a totally balanced way. He knows what i wanted and i let him know but I had to know what he wanted and he let me know and i had to accept that.

I'll keep everyone posted on how this all plays out. I'm kinda interested in seeing myself. My boss reminded me of this: "Enoch, you're only 24!" to which i replied, "Actually, i'm only 23." I sometimes forget how young i actually am. I'm the youngest guy in my office. I gotta remember to let God drive and not get ahead of the plan. I gotta relax and let God make it all happen, just like he always does.

sidenote: So i thought my title was cute. I wrote it after i was done and i was thinking it's cute because it says both, "God IS at work" and "God is AT work" meaning he's active and present. How true!

a quickie: small group sharing

so it always baffles me or surprises me when people say things like, "My life is routine and nothing happens" or stuff like that and i hear it pretty often. There is always 1 person in every that will say that and in small group when someone said that to me vince stopped me and answered, "I already know what Enoch will say. He'll tell you that God is always doing something in your life so there is always something to talk about" (or something to that effect). It was great to know that he knows that I would say that, it is good he's learned about that piece of truth in his own life. It's also been really good to see Ernie's blog about "It rained today". It was his attempt to get back into posting and he tried to start with something simple. Ernie isn't really a simple type of guy so the blog is pretty deep by my standards and i really do enjoy seeing he's transition though i saw it a long time ago in faith. I hope we do keep sharing though. There is too much God does everyday for us to hold on to. I feel like i'm goin' to burst if don't keep sharing. i hope we can all be filled and burst forth by the workings of the Holy Spirit

The "Super Apostles" .... Project Contempo

Recap: I'm in a small group called the "Super Apostles" taken from 2 Cor 12:11. We are an all guys group and you can kinda understand why our name is what is.

As week we had a gathering of our entire fellowship to celebrate what God has done so it was a dinner and sharing night. We had burgers and everyone brought a condiment for the burgers. It's kinda cute cuz it symbolizes our complimenting of each other and how we all play our role in the process.

Speaking of process I've reached the part i wanted to talk about. One of the defining characteristics of an all guy group is that we tend to see the same way. As the other two small groups were working on the food, cutting and prepping and grilling away the guys sat on the couch and watch Planet Earth, a documentary on the earth. Every time a late coming would come in they would see the group of us watching and ask, "what are you watch?" The answer Tim gave was and we eventually picked up on that, "God's creation".

As the food was laid out they told people to dig in and the first ones to eat were the guys. Some felt worse than others for not helping but it's interesting to see that the other 2 groups bonded by doing stuff together while our group bonds in a totally different way. i think it's cute.

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Project Contempo

So this morning i got the Mc D's for breakfast and i didn't wanna go. Why? I just didn't think my perspective on work was something that needed working on. Pay and career development has been on my mind a lot recently to Tim and Wuju told me how much they made this morning. I realized that i make peanuts compared to these folks. It's kinda odd to know and i've been trying to figure out what was going on. Today after being with all the people i've been with i realize what i must have sounded like recently. I got to hear people say things that i would say and i realize that they are crazy. I realized how insane i must sound when i talk. Praise God. I had to answer my own questions today and God showed me how. I have come to grips with work and God and what he wants from me. How nice for me. A bit sad for those that spoke but at least they heard the answer that i needed when i spoke today.

behind the masks... more lies... God stands above it all

So I get the opportunity to play poker with my co-workers and am get exposed to a lot of deception and at the poker table I'm used to it. I've learned to see past the lies and just play but it's kinda crazy because I've yet to really learn how to do what in the other contexts of my life where it's the same level of lies and deception. There is so much that goes on behind closed doors and underground. there is so much that goes on behind people's back. there is so much that goes on in peoples faces. I mean this in the office context.

so where does that leave me? I don't know. I don't know what how the apply the truth to this situation actually. The answer is not "remove yourself" or to "be part of the crowd", but i don't know what i should be. I guess it good that I'm going to Project Contempo tomorrow and maybe they'll deal with it.

I don't want to get sucked into things and yet I know God is waiting for something before he tells me what it is.

It's weird though, when i think about it know what God has been doing in my life and it's interesting so i guess i'll share about some more lies I've been dealing with. Periodically I bring up the problem of lust and porn and it's something God's started to make some real progress in my life recently. The hate for the sin has become more apparent since my star wars post. The issue is that recently my relationship with Shirley has been rough as well. Previously i noticed that there were times when i let sin run rampant my relationship with her would suffer, but now that God and I are dealing with the issue how come it feels like it's getting worse? How come when i allow sin to enter that i can be more easy going? If God is the one that makes our relationship possible and I'm right with God and she is right with God then what's going on? I've been begging for the answer and the strength to endure until i did and then God spoke.

"satan is pretty upset and how things are going. he wants you to think, 'why bother with this hard thing if I can have free and easy sex?' "

Praise God for revelation! I have confidence that I will have eyes that see past the lies, ears that are tuned to the truth and a heart set on stun (or more specifically, honouring God).